Real Mom of NJ » Blog Archive Why We Didn't Circumcise Our Son

Why We Didn’t Circumcise Our Son

RealDad and I didn’t find out in advance what RealBoy was, and at about 35 weeks we realized, “Oh wait, this baby might be a boy. Are we circumcising?” RealDad’s immediate reaction was “Yes, I think so.” Mine was “No effing way.”

RealDad’s pro-cutting arguments were pretty typical. He wanted his son to look like him and he didn’t want his son to be teased in future locker rooms or by future dates. That was really it.

I had only one reason for leaving RealBoy “in tact”: I don’t believe in unnecessary medical interventions, and circumcision is just that. It’s not that I consider it genital mutilation—-which seems to be a trendy argument against it—-just unnecessary. I don’t have a problem if other people want to circumcise their sons, but I couldn’t do it to mine. Avoiding unnecessary medical interventions is the foundation of my birthing, parenting, and personal philosophies, so that was reason enough to skip it. But still, I did some research to confirm it was as optional as I thought.

I found that the American Academy of Pediatrics stated in 1999 (and reaffirmed in 2005) that “Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision.” Three additional tidbits of info sealed the deal:

A) The general consensus among experts is that circumcision is no longer thought to improve hygiene or general health

B) Studies are showing uncircumcised men may have a more satisfying sex life (so you can thank me later, RealBoy)

C) The CDC released statistics that show the rate of circumcision in the US is decreasing, so RealBoy isn’t going to be the only guy in the locker room who is in tact.

And of course I looked up pictures of the circumcision procedure. Yikes. That’s enough right there to dissuade just about anyone. I couldn’t imagine doing that to my son after seeing the pictures and envisioning him wailing and crying in pain.

Another influential factor for me was hearing several stories of botched circumcisions from other moms. One friend described her nephew’s circumcision as a “total hack-job.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t think the words “hack-job” and “circumcision” should be in the same sentence. In many of the stories I was hearing, the procedure had to be redone when the babies were older. Yeah, no. We’ll skip it then. Again, RealBoy can thank me later.

The bottom line was this: RealDad’s reasons were based on personal preference, which we agreed didn’t warrant genital surgery. Because RealDad didn’t have a super strong opinion about it, and I did, I won. The real winner is RealBoy, of course.

If you want additional compelling and thorough info, check out Ask Dr Sears: Whether or Not to Circumcise.

PS – RealBoy, I apologize now if this TMI post comes back to haunt you when you’re running for president in the future.

11 comments

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Frammitz

1 Like

I'm with you 100%. We have performed no prophylactic or cosmetic surgery on our children. We didn't have a foreskin, tonsil, or appendix removed. We didn't have their ears pinned, tummy tucked, or navel pierced. And they are unreasonably beautiful and perfectly healthy.

realmomofnj moderator

@Frammitz What a great comment. "We didn't have a foreskin, tonsil, or appendix removed. We didn't have their ears pinned, tummy tucked, or navel pierced. And they are unreasonably beautiful and perfectly healthy." Love it.

Mandy Cangemi Crook

I'm so glad our doula remarked on the subject 6 years ago. I can't imagine anyone cutting my son or daughters...it was that easy for me.

Bennysmama

We also chose not to circumcise despite a lot of pressure from family and I am so happy we didn't! I watched a circ. Video when he was about 1 and realized that if I had allowed that to happen to him I would have lived with guilt & regret for the rest of my life. And all of the terrible things that were going to happen to his penis never happened. I just worry about him someday telling other boys that they look different because they had part of their penis cut off.

realmomofnj moderator

@Bennysmama Our family was surprised that we didn't do it, but they didn't find out until after we left the hospital. At that point, they couldn't really comment on it b/c it was done (well, really NOT done...). If they knew in advance, I bet they would've tried to "encourage" us to circumcise. Good thing RealDad and I didn't even think about it until it was nearly go time. We didn't really have time to share our decision with others. Worked out well.

Bennysmama

We also chose not to circumcise despite a lot of pressure from family and I am so happy we didn't. All of the terrible things that were going to happen because of my sons foreskin never did happen. He's a happy healthy 3 year old and has never had any issues. I watched a circ. Video that someone had posted when he was about 1 and realized that if I had allowed that to happen to him I would have lived with guilt and regret for the rest of my life.

Natalie Baci Barone

The banana is funny

melissa

I totally regret circumcising Aiden. I must say I did it without putting much thought into it, and at the time, it seemed like the strange thing was to Not do it. I've come around to realize that if I won't pierce my daughter's ears until she's able to want it & agree to it (maybe 5-6 yrs of age), then how could we have cut into my son's beautiful and perfect body without His consent? I really regret this and while I know he's totally fine and the Dr. did a great job, I shudder to think what he went through. Looking back, I def. think I could've persuaded my hubby. I agree, I think the trend is to leave it intact. If we have another son, over my dead body will he be cut (and then we'll have quite the mis-matched pair!).