Mom Stuff

05/15

2013

2

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funny is family

10 Reasons My Body Image Is Better After Having Kids

by RealMomofNJ on May 15, 2013 in Guest Post, Humor, Mom Stuff

As I prepare to don a bikini for the first time this season, I’m thinking a lot about body image. I’m thinking a lot about how mine is actually better since having kids. Ain’t nobody got time to stress about a little cellulite or the size of their ass after they have kids. But it isn’t just that I…

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05/02

2013

3

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mother's day gifts

RealMomofNJ’s Top 5 (OK, 6) Mother’s Day Gifts

by RealMomofNJ on May 02, 2013 in Holidays, Mom Stuff

All of a sudden, everything on Pinterest is about Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day gifts, crafts, ideas, brags, etc. So, uh, yeah. Mother’s Day is coming.

RealDad is a last-minute shopper, so I try to throw him ideas for presents or nice gestures whenever possible to avoid the frenzied holiday rush. He may not mind hastily selecting a gift for me or paying…

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03/22

2013

9

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leaving problem

My Leaving Problem

by RealMomofNJ on March 22, 2013 in Bitching, Humor, Mom Stuff

Hi, my name is Sam, and I have a leaving problem.

I didn’t realize I had it until my husband finally snapped and told me. It was his day to take the kids to day care. We were going through the morning routine: wake up the kids, get them dressed, feed them breakfast, pack lunches and snacks, pack diapers/extra clothes/random…

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03/20

2013

0

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airplane

What I Learned While My Family Was Away

by RealMomofNJ on March 20, 2013 in Mom Stuff

RealDad and RealGirl are home from their vacation! They were gone for 5 days together, visiting friends and having fun, and RealBoy and I stayed home. Here is what I learned from our time apart.

1. Babies need space from their siblings. I spend a lot of time talking to and managing RealGirl, and RealBoy is always just…

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02/26

2013

28

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toddlerbikini

Bikini Double Standard

by RealMomofNJ on February 26, 2013 in Controversy, Life Lessons, Mom Stuff

RealGirl asked for a bikini. I’m a little freaked out.

It went like this:

RealMom: You need a new bathing suit this summer.

RealGirl: I want one…with the panties. And the thing…the thing…the green thing that covers your nipples, Mama.

 

She was describing my bikini.

Her previous bathing suits were one pieces or tankinis with sleeves. Nothing flashy, and certainly…

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02/08

2013

18

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pregnant-red-and-white-stripped-belly-600x300

Sh*t Not to Say to a Pregnant Lady

by RealMomofNJ on February 08, 2013 in Bitching, Childbirth, Humor, Mom Stuff, Pregnancy

By guest blogger Rachel

News flash: Pregnant women are oversensitive. Wait. I suppose you could just delete the word “pregnant,” and it would still be largely true. I think I’m a fairly rational and reasonable person. However, as I sit here in the eighth month of my third pregnancy, I have enough insight to…

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01/25

2013

15

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Desert Highway

I’m Running Away

by RealMomofNJ on January 25, 2013 in Mom Stuff

All moms have moments when they feel like running away from their families. Generally after times of great difficulty or sleep deprivation, we fantasize about hitting the open road and heading for a life less complicated. A life devoted to beach sitting, sun tanning, mojito drinking, and cabana boy schtupping. Perhaps we envision our mates and kids at home,…

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